


The Ten Duel Commandments

by lapoesieestdanslarue



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky-centric, I'm Sorry, M/M, Minor Spoilers, Winter Soldier feels, but not really?, i just have a lot of feelings after cacw, idek, idek what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:59:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6720862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapoesieestdanslarue/pseuds/lapoesieestdanslarue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit guard jammed roughly into his mouth, and he bites, one part of him bracing for the worst and the other part--</p><p>He wants to remember but he doesn't know if he wants to bother with pain of forgetting.</p><p>*Minor Spoilers for Captain America: Civil War*</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ten Duel Commandments

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a thing I wrote at 1 am because I just saw civil war and it Fucked Me Up 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy! Title is from the song of the same name from 'Hamilton'.
> 
> All grammatical errors are there on purpose

 

 

_Longing_

 

 

A bit guard jammed roughly into his mouth, and he bites, one part of him bracing for the worst and the other part--

 

He wants to remember but he doesn't know if he wants to bother with the pain of forgetting.

 

A secluded tent in The Alps.

 

It was cold but the body beneath him was hot and would keep him warm.

 

“Hey sugar are you rationed?”

 

A breathy whisper that took its form in white puffs that trailed from his mouth as the man-- _Steve_ \-- brushes his lips against his, pulling him closer, inhaling him in just because he could.

 

Steve smiled. “Rationed to you, doll.”

  


 

 

_Rusted_

 

 

 

He’s walking through a deserted street, completely barren. Evacuated, he recalls. From the war that he fought in.

 

There’s men surrounding him, guns at the ready, and one at the front with a shield--

 

But he stops when he see’s a bike, resting against a small cottage on the side of a road. It was left here, he thinks, abandoned. Forgotten.

 

He can see the rust beginning to form on the chain from being left alone

 

He looks down at his arm, but it’s not _his_ arm it’s nothing to him at all it’s a lump of metal--

  


 

_Seventeen_

 

 

A boiling hot, humid day on a street he can’t remember, going up stairs he can’t replace and knocking on a foreign door

 

“Hey buddy,” he’s saying something again to a smaller, blonder teenager who looks like the other one- “What d’ya say to a cold soda?”

 

The other boy is answering him, something in his brain tells him so but he can’t hear it he’s losing it it’s slipping

 

An arm looping around a shoulder and a furtive brush of lips to ear and it’s gone

 

 

 

_Daybreak_

 

 

 

He’s caught between two different tellings of this memory.

 

in one part of his existence he woke to bacon being fried and the sounds of two older people chatting, there were children playing and ladies gossiping and vendors yelling.

 

In another he wakes to two tin pots being banged together, or to a bugle or maybe an alarm or a gunshot or a shout but he can’t figure them it’s too much at once--

 

 

 

_Furnace_

  


 

 

The man in the white coat steps in front of him, his presence demanding his attention.

 

He gives it to him

 

he knows what will happen if he doesn’t.

 

His mind slowly begins to lose it’s grip, coming back to the state it’s been trained to. All the same, looks like that Steve was a persistent bastard because--

 

The smell of burning wood and melting metal hits him, black smoke billowing up and he’s in a burning building, and that man is there.

 

“Just get out!” he roars across a platform. “Get out of here!”

 

“No! Not without you!” the words are tearing from his mouth but he can’t _remember_ this, he doesn’t remember this place or those words and--

 

 

 

_Nine_

 

 

 

he sucks in a breath--

 

he’s crouched down in muddy trenches, he’s hiding

 

there are cries and shouts and so much gun fire and bombs

 

and there’s a body with a bullet through his toppling down beside him and he flinches and

 

He breathes

 

And he clutches his gun and counts his bullets

 

Nine

 

_Every bond is a bullet in your best guy’s gun!_

 

Nine bullets

 

Nine lives

 

_Thou shalt not kill_

 

But he’s a good solider

 

He is a good soldier and he

 

Stands up straight

  
  


Takes aim

  
  
  
  
  
  


Fires

  
  
  


 

 

_Benign_

 

 

 

Attennnn- tion!

 

At ease, soldier

  
  


Welcome back, soldier

 

Wipe him

  


 

 

_Homecoming_

 

 

 

There’s a picture with a family on it and his heart hurts

 

he hates the war but then a man comes-

 

The blond man that’s there in his mind-

 

he doesn’t hate it so much after that

  


he can’t figure out why

 

  


_One_

 

Alone in a dark room-

 

entangled with a body in a bed--

 

Metal on raw, chapped skin-

 

hot breath and teeth scraping his collarbone

 

a fragmented memory he couldn’t piece together if he tried

 

so he doesn’t

 

Alone

 

But never quite

 

 

 

_Freightcar_

 

 

 

He remembers stepping on

 

and he remembers falling off

 

_“Bucky--!”_

 

Who the hell is Bucky?

 

He falls

 

He lands

  
  
  


He is a good little soldier and stands up straight--

 

“Soldier?”

 

“Ready to comply.”

  


**Author's Note:**

> Well there you have it.
> 
> It'd be awesome if you left a comment/kudos!
> 
>  
> 
> [yo come talk to me on tumblr](http://war-boyfriends.tumblr.com/)


End file.
